Pirate Mechanics and Silver Garbage Cans

I spent all day bartering with some pirate mechanic to pass my worthless piece of tin off on its safety slash emissions test. This pirate mechanic was kind enough to pass the old Dodge Neon on emissions though it was smoking out of its tail end. Of course, I had to beg him. The things we do to survive in this cruel, heartless world. Apparently I can’t pass safety, something about loose bolts and engine mounts. Sounds kind of serious but since I don’t want to put another red cent into my blue Neon, I refuse to deal with it. I just pour a container of oil into my engine once a week and ignore the smells and smoke that trails my car and pollutes this big green and blue earth. I’d be better off riding around in a silver garbage can.

So for those of you generous souls who are feeling charitable and would want to donate to the United Keep the Air behind Ashleys Car Clean Fund I am accepting all forms of payment.