Moved the Couch to my Front Lawn

I love it when I think my court time is at 9 AM when really it’s at 10:45. Sitting in the court room for almost two hours I felt my class points dropping and my vocabulary worsening or getting more worserer..or whatever. It’s what happens when you spend too much time in settings like the court house or the DMV. I get such terrible anxiety in these two places. I’d rather spend my day at the dentist’s office or a public bathroom.

Too much time in environments such as these can seriously drop you down a few rungs on the social class ladder. You’ll start believing things like “Happiness is being a Grandfather” and have to fight the desire to apply colored eye liners. You start thinking places like Toledo, Ohio would be a good location to live or the State Fair is a cool place to hang. You’ll even crave food from gas stations. Thanks to a few hours at the court house I now own an IRON MAIDEN shirt with cut off sleeves.

Dear social class ladder fairy, please help me find a way to move back up a rung or two.



These are my new friends I met at the court house.

*For those of you curious as to why I went to court, I just had to prove I had insurance and after much anticipation the Judge found me….not guilty. Thanks your honor. But I'm still guilty of owning and re-filling my BIG GULP every morning at my local 711.